{W}rite of Passage: Writing Well – Challenge 1

This piece inspired by the {W}rite of Passage: Challenge 1. Find a person in public today and study their character. Make a story surrounding them. It’s very rare that I share any sort of fiction writing on this blog, but I’ve been a writer all my life and for my 100th post at Sarahndipitea, I’ve realized that it’s about time I own up to the words in my head.

~*~*~*~

Her back was turned to the group of students as she inhaled the scent of Christmas. Pin-pricks of light blinked through her camera lens while the shutter memorialized the bulbs’ brightness. Nearby, the tree lot hummed with parents and their children picking out the perfect holiday centerpiece. Jealous of the love radiating from the cordoned-off section of the parking lot, she distracted herself by shooting the smiles of strangers. Aster could feel the eyes of the students on her but she didn’t really care; she was invisible behind her lens. Since his death, she had been using her camera as her coping method, as her therapy session. Hiding behind the black plastic, Aster didn’t worry about who was staring at or talking about her; she was safe.

“Aster?” a man’s familiar voice called from her right.

With the viewfinder to her eye still, she turned, snapping a few shots of a pair of grey-blue eyes belonging to Liam, her 8th grade math teaching comrade. She let the camera hang from her shoulder, secretly hoping it had managed to immortalize his eyes this time. “You’re here late,” she remarked, burying her slender hands deeper in her pockets.

“Test make-up day,” he tugged  his hat down further over his ears. “Stalking the Christmas-tree lot again, I see.”

Aster felt her face grow red as she internally berated herself; should have kept the camera up to my face. She knew that he had seen her photographs before; he was the only coworker she had invited to her first show. He was the only non-family member to show up and she was still terribly embarrassed. “You know me,” she tried to joke; it came out stiffly though. You don’t know me at all, actually, she mused. As much as Liam flirted with Aster, she wasn’t ready to flirt back yet – it was too soon.

“Need a ride home?” Liam asked as he gestured to his car.

“Nah, thanks, I’m just gonna take the bus,” Aster tried to smile as she turned down another kind offer.

“See you sixth period then! Study hard tonight!” He waved and turned away. Although she knew the risk of being caught, Aster snapped a few more shots of Liam as he walked toward his car and climbed in. Tomorrow. I’ll accept his offer tomorrow.

~*~*~*~

no list = sucky gifts

Growing up my parents never had to encourage us to write our letters to Santa. We were broke all the time, and so there was always stuff my friends had that I desperately wanted (read: an Easy Bake Oven*). As I grew up, my lists became shorter and more expensive, and while my parents were still broke, they always managed to get at least one thing from the list. Once I started working (at 15), my Christmas lists grew even shorter – I didn’t need my parents to buy me what I wanted, that’s what my job was for. In college, I stopped writing lists and my mom started just buying random stuff she thought I’d like. It’s a good thing she knows me so well and was able to match my needs and wants as equally well. Now-a-days Mom emails me and asks for a short list so that she can get me what I need rather than what she thinks I might want. She does the same with my little sister.

Two years ago my sister never submitted her list … so my mom bought her things she thought she’d like. Picky Little Sister was disappointed at Christmas when she got weird things that she didn’t really need or want, but because she never gave Mom a list, she got what Mom could think of. She pouted like she was 8, even though she was 21 that year. She explicitly told my Mom, in front of everyone, that Christmas; “all I got were the sucky gifts!” Since then, my family has held the joke that “no list equals sucky gifts”.

For my 99th post here (yeah, 99 posts … crazy!) I thought I’d create my Christmas list so that when Mom does request a list, I have stuff ready to go instead of giving her “tights, a lined journal, postage stamps” like I did last year. (I got six pair of tights, three new journals and a roll of stamps. My mom is good like that.)

As I started making my list this year, I totally sensed a theme …

• An inspired necklace from Lisa Leonard Designs :: I specifically like Be Still necklace (yes, even though it has a bird on it!) and the sterling ring (which I’d put ad astra per aspera on)
• Tiny Token’s Design has some gorgeous metal-work that drew me in: the Wish necklace, Stars and Bzzzzzz but I wish they came in the “dangly” style like the Dragonfly ones do
• LuLu Bug Jewelery is also some amazing metal work that I am coveting: like the Big Dandelion necklace, and this GORGEOUS Dream Sweetly necklace
• Alicia Instanbul makes some pretty word stamped necklaces: I know I’m lucky, and need to be reminded to be still every once in a while
• Even Amazon has a beautiful “OMG I LOVE THAT NECKLACE” dragonfly medallion
• Sweet Bella Cards makes the stationary geek in me a happy one: Dandelions, Blowing Daisies, and the Raspberry Vine just mean I’d  need to add postage stamps to my list
• Wicked Pen’s dragonfly linen notes are bound to get me to write to my Gramps, really!
• LUSH carries a million things I’d love: from bath bombs (Sex Bomb, Vanilla Fountain, Honey Bee, Rainbow Worrier, Silver Cloud) to bubble bars (Two Timing Tart, Christmas Kisses) to the massage bars (Wiccy Magic Muscles, Nutts)
• I’m an avid reader but have yet to justify buying myself a Kindle … but I want … oh how I want
• SIGG has always made the best looking water bottles out there, and I love the pink one I have, but I could always use more since I’m thinking about getting rid of my ancient Nalgene bottles
• These rings are fun, but that’d mean I’d have to take off my silver one: Kira’s Touch Dodger Blue, Fluffington’s happy cup of tea ring kills me with cuteness, Love Heals but my absolute favorite has to be PatrickIrlaJewelry’s Hydrangea Blossom Ring (gorgeousness in ring form)

After posting this entry and then checking out MORE Etsy sites, I have a few more things to add to the list!

• ScarletBeautiful’s photo prints are amazingly beautiful: Love through the Viewfinder, and Ranuculus Flower through the Viewfinder (my favorite flower, EVER!)
• PeggySue1464’s And Then There Were Two painting is beautiful
• Little Glass House’s Fire & Sky photograph reminds me of a beautiful fall day while We Remember I cheers me up
• Patty A Baker paints a beautiful Autumn Moonrise VI
• Essentially ALL of the work at Paper Moth makes me smile. I especially like the Dandelion stuff.

Virtual Christmas shopping is fun!

• Metal basket shelf from Wisteria
• Roost bronze twig jewelry stand from Velocity
• Light switch rack from the MOMA store
• Alena Hennessey: Organic Extra Long Cotton Scarf – flora on sage

Even though I’m not a “stuff” person, I definitely sensed a theme in creating this list, and I spent MUCH too much time online browsing some fabulous stores. What are your favorite stores for pretties?

~**~

*When I would buy gifts for the tags on the tree at the mall, or for our work Christmas gift-giving thing, I would ALWAYS buy a young girl an Easy Bake Oven and like 8 refills for the cakes. I always wanted one but never got one, and so giving them to girls (for five years in a row!) was always super-exciting for me.

you can derelict my balzac

The past couple of weeks have passed in a whirlwind and thinking back on what I actually did, only two big things stand out … and since I have been accused of neglecting my blog, I guess I should talk about them, hur?

Shopping spree: Ewokmama won a $1500 Style Me Makeover from Momversation in late November and invited me to join her fun-filled day. After a brief latte & cinnamon roll/blueberry hazelnut muffin stop, we spent five hours in the Daly City Target with Rob Morhaim and Daphne Brogdon picking out some amazing new work outfits for Ewokmama. Ewokmama had her makeup done by a very kind and hard-working Boots consultant which only enhanced her inner beauty. Seeing my best friend’s confidence change from morning to afternoon was probably the best part of the day. It’s one thing to hear “you look great!” from your best friend and your fiance, but when stylists, Target employees and strangers comment on how amazingly gorgeous you are, it has different clout. I don’t know that there is person in my life who deserved something like this more than Ewokmama.

Thanksgiving trip to Oregon: on Wednesday I traveled back to Oregon to visit my family and a couple of friends for the Thanksgiving holiday. For the most part, I had a really great time. Visiting with my parents, sister, two aunts, an uncle, Gramps, two cousins and a second-cousin (who roped me into performing an after-dinner “I got maracas!” show as a backup dancer (complete with castanets)) was emotionally rewarding as well as tiring. Everyone wanted to know details about my move to the Bay, including hearing about TheMister. I’ve not seen my family as happy for me in years and that made the trip worth it. I saw @SaraMD and @Geogon, ate a ton of food (including MEXICAN FOOD!) and enjoyed myself. The trip home was a little rough (didn’t feel so hot) but hugging Ewokmama and TheMister when I returned home was fantastic. I’m so thankful for my loved ones.

Other stuff:

• I’m moving from the House of Cracker in two weeks. It’s a bittersweet move as I know I’ll miss my Cracker family but it’s time for my own space and I can visit any time I want! My parents are going to bring my stored stuff from Oregon after Christmas and I’ll probably feel even more at home!
• Been spending a lot of time with TheMister and loving that. I am a damned lucky woman. He lent me A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Dave Eggers) and I am about 100 pages from finishing it. A fantastic book that I’m thankful he recommended. I also recently bought Spook (Mary Roach … she wrote Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers which I loved) and an out of print German book of essays on Dachau. I’m looking forward to reading both.
• I’ve been doing a lot of writing for WEGO Health lately. A lot of it. It feels really good to use my public health degree to do something positive for the Health Activist community. I’m particularly proud of my continuing series on the women’s health report. HIV – The number one killer of women, Women’s Health Report: let’s talk inequalities, Women’s Health Report: let’s talk about sex (baby), Women’s Health Report: it’s not all about sex, Women’s Health Report: let’s be fair now and Women’s Health Report: the failing systems are all entries about the recently released report on women’s health from the World Health Organization.
• Although I didn’t really attack my 109 in 2009, I’m going to make a list of 110 for 2010 like I’ve done before, with the big and the little things I’d like to accomplish in 2010, so I need to start on that, even if it’s just mentally! This year should be fun!

let’s talk turkey

Everyone has been talking about the things they’re thankful for – because yanno, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. (You might have thought it was closer to Christmas with all the advertising you’ve already seen, though, huh?) I am thankful for the standard, my family, my friends, my boyfriend and my job, but I’m thankful for so much more. I am thankful for so many little things on top of the super-important things.

• the sight of  plants still blooming in San Francisco and Berkeley in November – I love flowers and seeing them in nature make me smile. My favorite new plant? The one I’ve been calling the “pipe-cleaner tree.” It’s technically called a bottle-brush tree, and it’s my new favorite.
• the smell of pavement just as it starts to rain – being from Oregon this was a really common smell in my life, after after a move to the Bay, it has become less frequent, so when I do smell it, it’s a comforting scent
• the taste of strong black coffee – I haven’t been drinking a lot of coffee since moving but having a cup of my mom’s coffee today totally reminded me why I love the stuff
• the sound of friends on my voice mail – lately I have been getting weird hang-up calls (that don’t stop even when I answer and demand they do) and so when I actually hear a voice (*cough*@MissHeathyrm*cough*) on my phone it makes me smile
• the feel of my own bed – this sounds silly, but I have missed my own bed. I left it at my parent’s house when I moved, and tonight, I am blogging from my own bed, with my own super-soft sheets (I’m a sheet snob) under my body. I know I am going to sleep like a baby and I think it’s time to give it a try.

What little things are you thankful for?

demotivation

Instead of writing a real entry, I just changed the blog layout. My pen & paper journal misses me. I’ve gotta go make out with it for a little while.

when you least expect it

Since 2006, I’ve been on dates with five boys. The first relationships I had immediately after my divorce were disastrous, as I wasn’t ready to date. I waited a year before I went on an actual date, and I remember two things about the guy: his ears stuck out so much I stared at them instead of his eyes during conversation, and, after I ordered a Guinness he ordered a Coors Light. (Now don’t get me wrong, I love a Coors Light when I’m watching a ball game. On dates, I purposefully order a dark beer to gauge the guy.) I only saw Big-Eared Coors Light Boy that one time.

It was over a year before I braved another date. In January of this year I let Cute Cafe Guy treat me like dirt, ditching me on multiple occasions before I finally told TheDitcher to leave me alone. In May I briefly dated The Dood … which was an absolutely one-sided relationship. (Also, guys, belching after a swig of beer and then blowing it in the girl’s face during a date (even if it was date 6 or something) is NOT the way to get a woman to like you. It’s gross.) The Dood’s moniker has been BurpBoy since then. In June SweetBoy moved my washer & dryer for me and we hit it off. Then he started ditching me, too. I don’t do well with being ditched. I’ve been ditched on multiple occasions and I don’t have to deal with it, so I don’t. He got weird and stalker-ish until I had to threaten him with the police. Thankfully I haven’t heard from StalkerGuy since then.

After six months of dating disasters, I gave up. I started researching convents and communes. (Okay, not really, but I joked around about it quite a bit.) Then in early August I came to visit Ewokmama and TheCabanaBoy in San Francisco. On my first full day in the City, they introduced me to TheMister. Neither of them thought that the relationship would turn into what it has, nor did I.  Two months later I moved, and, yes, he was a deciding factor. (The job, the support network, the area, the SUNSHINE, yeah, they all helped, though.) TheMister drove 40 minutes the first night I was in Berkeley to help me unload my car and stayed until I essentially fell asleep in his lap. Things have only gotten better since then.

Being in a relationship hasn’t been easy for me – essentially three years of being a single woman, after nine years of the same unhealthy relationship changed my outlook on life. I was scarred, and I’ve been scared. I don’t know how to be someone’s girlfriend, I’m learning as I go, and I’m making mistakes. He’s forgiving me.

Moving to the Bay Area has changed my life in so many positive ways but the little pessimist in me is waiting for the other shoe to drop; I hope she’s sorely disappointed. I have never been such a happy woman. I am a damned lucky woman to have found a man who feels the same way about me as I feel about him. The intensity of the feelings we share blows my mind but still comforts me in ways I don’t yet understand. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know that I am thankful to wake up everyday and realize that this is what love feels like.

each gate will open another*

Can I write in paragraph form anymore? I don’t know. I seem to be spending my paragraph-writing abilities over on my WEGO Health blog where some recently released women’s health news has me pretty irate. I have a shit-ton of research to read, decipher, summarize and rant about now that the WHO has released its first ever women’s health report. Did you know that HIV/AIDS is the number one killer of women aged 5 to 44 (globally)? Do you know how angry this makes me? *seethes* I won’t get into it here, I’m going to save my public health wrath for WEGO.

This weekend I get to see my doppelgänger (with TheMister) and I’m really excited. She and her man are having a taco-based dinner party (who wouldn’t want to go to that!!?!) and I haven’t seen her since the beginning of September. It’s about time. We’re working on plans for a girly sleepover in the future, too, since I’ll be sitting on Ewokmama’s boy Jack on Sunday and not game for staying up too late on Saturday night.

My ankylosing spondylitis has been pretty bad for the past few days – for the first time in ages. For the first time since Spring this year, actually. It’s annoying since I went about five months without daily pain. It’s clearly a weather-related condition with me. I am an old man in a young lady’s body. I’m able to take some of my diclofenac when things get too bad, but I have to be careful about drinking while taking that stuff. Thankfully there are a couple of people who love me enough to randomly rub my back/neck/hips to relieve some of the muscle tension due to the joint pain.

Uhm, I managed three paragraphs before I got stuck. Yay me!

*Gatekeeper ~ Feist

hurting

You have to wonder how your day is going to go when you wake up
a) 4 hours before you want to
b) with a pounding head/neck/backache after
c) a dream where your boyfriend told you that you were getting too fat to be seen with him.

My body is broken; anyone got a 5′6″ Band-Aid?

when you say nothing at all

• Everyone in Berkeley drives a Volvo or a Prius. Except me. I drive a Ford Escort.
• I am almost fluent in 3-year-old now. If I needed to, I might add that talent to my resume.
• Thomas the Tank Engine (the blue smallish one) is having a love affair with Percy (the green one). James (the red one) is jealous.
• I drink far less coffee now that I live in California. I think Portland has addiction issues.
• Ingrid Michaelson’s newest album (Everybody) has been on repeat for almost 24 hours now. I don’t know that this has been a good idea.
• My uterus? It hates me. Two weeks ago it hated me. WTF body!? WTF!?
• Last week my laptop’s AC adapter ate it. I spent a few days on VDog’s extra computer but it threw a wrench in my writing, working and Tweeting plans. I feel like I’ve been away a long time.
• I missed what looks like some fun adventures over the weekend in order to spend some quality time with TheMister. We accidentally (?) braved the Baker Beach Sand Ladder on Sunday evening. Intense climb but worth it after hearing the ocean. The area is in a U shaped cove and the sound of the waves was amazing, the sunset was awesome and the company? Well, he’s incredible.

you are the best thing

You Are The Best Thing – Ray Lamontagne

I may have already posted this song a while back, but I seriously cannot get enough of it. It just makes me SUCH a happy woman when I hear it. /nerding out